Hello… heeellllloooooo! I have the pleasure of writing this blog post as I sit outside and listen to the rain fall on this beautiful summer day. It has been very busy trying to get this move on the way. It will be a bit difficult in the following weeks to update this blog because I will be couch surfing until I find a good home in Brooklyn. Luckily there is a Starbucks at every corner and I will be spending ALOT of time there.
I have finally started the planning and preparation of my fashion blog and website idea I had started over a year ago. The reason it took so long to initiate is because I have been living the poor artist life these past two years right out of college. Student loans and poor artist don’t necessarily mix, but it was a risk and opportunity I could not pass up and I am glad I have taken. I worked my butt off for months with very little payoff but a VERY high internal payoff. I have built a small network of fans and I proved to myself that if I really wanted to take this all the way, what I need most now was time and patience! However, life has to move forward and I am always a business lady first. I know I could only be poor by choice because I am resourceful and I require very little in terms of materialistic comforts. My choice to be poor is over and I take all that I have learned and my workaholic-ism to the capital of workaholics, NYC. Where, yes, my workaholic boyfriend lives as well.
I have a great outlook on moving to NYC because I was able to find a happy medium between living my life and completing my written bucket list that I always keep with me and working. If I so happen to make millions one day, then so be it. If I don’t, so be it. In high school and college I was in the drag race to become a millionaire. Then after awhile money became less important and I garnered the relationships I encountered. The reason behind this is good ol Princeton NJ.
I use to work at a high end audio sales company that built whole house systems for the rich and famous of Princeton. One of my primary job requirements was to visit the homes of these people and build relationships with them to sell them as much crap as possible. I had just turned 19 at the time and I was good at talking to people, but my heart had no interest in swindling them. However, with my honesty I was rewarded with respect and a lot of lessons from the stories my clients secretly confessed. The long hours of working and the fact that I knew more about their homes then they did. The unhappy wives scanning my every move and the children who were spoiled rotten and treated you as a second class citizen. My favorite people, however, were the ones that walked in and you couldn’t tell if they were rich. These were the people that didn’t come from money or didn’t ever let money rule them. They chose to live simply and realistically in society. They divulged in little pleasures sometimes, like a home audio system, but they rather be treated as a person and not the Bugatti sitting outside or the expensive suit and watches the flashed. My kind of people. They seemed to be the happiest and the friendliest.
That is when I vowed to never let money rule my decision making again. I work hard and if I am good at what I do, money will come in, but it will be put to a good purpose. Not, to buy me things to show off for other people. This is the same reason I decided to date my boyfriend. I am allergic to flashy people who feel a need to try and impress me with what they have obtained. Usually there is very little on the inside to please me and I am not a woman to be bought. The fact I even met my boyfriend was by chance. I didn’t expect to met a CEO of anything. I just treated like everyone else. The same way I treat celebrities I have met over the years working in television. Actually, fun story for you guys.
A friend of mine had won two backstage passes to meet a famous singer (who I will not name) at a show in Philadelphia. I was excited to see the show. When the show was over and we went backstage to meet him I was excited to see what kind of person this man was because, with years of experience I can perceive certain personality traits by gestures, movement, and speech. It was our turn for a picture. We both walked up and right before the picture was snapped he decided to take his dirty little paw and put on my tank top and pull it out as if he was looking down at my boobs. Now I have a cute tattoo right over my heart that was showing, but by no means does that mean he has any reason to touch my shirt. I backed up out of the photo and looked him straight in the eye and told him that was disrespectful. He looked at me astonished. I told him if he wants a groupie I can go grab one. He told me he was only trying to look at my tattoo, then he pulls my shirt out again. I back up again and I tell him that you are being disrespectful and I do not like to be touched. He follows started laughing at me as if I sounded like prude. He still had shock on his face, but because he was trying to keep up an image, tried to save face by going along with a tough guy act. I kindly walked away after that. I was born with the adverse effects when it comes to celebrities. They seem so appealing until I meet them in person and realize they are just like me, then the magic is gone….
Back to my workaholic story. I treated my boyfriend like everyone else and even when I spoke Japanese I used informal speech. He is like everyone else. Why would I treat him different? He liked that about my personality. He is not flashy in anyway and you could never tell who he was unless he told you. I love that about him. I couldn’t even tell you how much money he has. I have no clue, because I don’t need to know and I don’t want to know.
He could have two dollars to his name for all I know and it wouldn’t change anything. What is valuable to me is his kindness, and the time we spend together. Even if it is limited. Since I am a former full blown workaholic, I can date a workaholic. I understand the constraints it takes to keep your business of good quality. His first love is his business. He had his business looonnnggg before I came along and I don’t expect to change that. As long as he keeps trying to make time for us.
I have gone through a lot emotionally the past couple of weeks. Coming to terms with a lot in my relationship and in my own insecurities. I am finally starting to settle down within my mind and get into a schedule with him. I know his dedication to his and that he won’t just leave over little petty issues we encounter. He does want to work for us! I also understand what he is willing to give. We don’t have full days together. I see him twice a week after 7 PM. But I make the most of that time. We make the most of our time. I make him do adventurous activities with me like Rock Climbing or hiking and whatever else I can find in or around Manhattan.
These times together I always try to hold dear and precious and not lose my way in my mind. I am thinking with my heart. I try to keep in mind the love that I have for my nieces and nephews… that makes up most of the love you can have towards some else as well. Love is real, even if it seems like it isn’t. The only difference is you share physical attraction with the person you love. But when the physical isn’t there…. the same love that has built my trust and loyalty and devotion to those three little ones are the same trust, loyalty, and devotion I can share with friends and my boyfriend.
He is a worker. He works all of the time. It is all that he knew in between failed relationships. He doesn’t have many friends, he doesn’t spend a lot of time outside of his business. But he chose me for whatever reason. I feel like I am a workaholic for my workaholic. I strive to succeed and I will do what it takes to make it happen. Even if it means I have to be very direct with him about my wants and needs if he dives too far into the working world. He needs someone who will let him know if something is wrong. I think that is a vital difference in our relationship and his past ones. A woman can just sit back, let the man take the lead role, and just do her duties quietly as she slowly suffers and wastes away. In my instance, I am remaining strong and independent and make sure to communicate with him as if he is my partner in this business called us. I let him know the schedule, when and where to be. I communicate new ideas, methods, and opportunities for our business. He gives his input into it and we go from there. I actually like to think of our relationship in this way. To think of our relationship in the traditional boyfriend/girlfriend sense would drive me insane. There is nothing typical about us that goes along with the typical expectations that go along with those titles. Expect, love, kissing, sex, babies and marriage. Marriage is a business nowadays anyway. That is why, even though I do want it someday, it is not my end game. Babies are a whole other business in itself because they become a full time job and all other jobs are secondary, in my case.
I like the schedule we have and I like to know what to expect from him. Visits twice a week until I move to NYC and then we will discuss further. When he is overseas, communication twice a week through email or via Skype. I like the structure waaaayyyy bettterrrr!
As Bryan Adams says in his song “When You Love Someone,” he sings “you’re lonely nights have just begun” I have been lonely a lot! Who isn’t lonely. People are always lonely in relationships. Even if the person is there everyday. This is no different. We are slowly finding a way. 🙂
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Love from New York City to Tokyo 