Loving a CEO: Less is More

This is the concept I must continuously remind myself. Whether he is a CEO of a start-up or the CEO of a major corporation. Loving a CEO is not an easy task. You have to rework your whole idea of what a relationship is about. Sometimes I think I was built for a CEO. I wasn’t born… life has just prepared me well for this moment and it is my duty to realize all of the lessons and apply them. I won’t lie and say I haven’t cried, I haven’t felt depressed, and I haven’t wanted to give up. The truth about anything you attain in life that is truly worth while will cloud you with fear. I am the Queen of over-thinking. I thought of sooooo many angles that this can go from. But, in all honesty, I needed a broader perspective, which I have but was not using properly.

If you read my Lessons of Love post, then you understand that I have a very good set of skills. I am very driven and ambitious, I persevere and have attained every dream I have set forth. I am not a lady of luck, I am a lady that knows the value of hard work and has a lot of blood, sweat, and tears under my belt.

From the beginning I knew what this relationship was. Heck, I had to wait a month and a half for our first date. However, during that time I had a chance to think. Here is a man who works really hard, which I admire in him. He is living his dream. As someone who is in the beginning stages of her own company, even if it is a sole proprietorship, understands the amount of time and effort you must put into it. He gave up the same dream I gave up. He gave up the idea of marriage and family. He has tried I am sure to date, but the women couldn’t stand up to the lifestyle of a CEO. They needed more. They thought about themselves. Which I can’t say is wrong, or bad.

However, when I thought about this man, never finding someone, well that made me sad. One thing I know about the life of a CEO is work will always come first. With great men comes great sacrifice. No one has tried to stay by his side. They feel distance and run scared. I could think about me, me, me… but everything you do requires sacrifice. Work requires sacrifice, family requires sacrifice. Love requires sacrifice. This was another crucial skill I had to learn again in the Lessons of Love.

I didn’t sacrifice anything for anyone. I had all my dreams under my belt. As a girl from a poor family, I persevered and made a life for myself. High School my schedule was: school, track, work during the week. Weekends was track meets on Saturday and Work on Sundays. College wasn’t much different: class, study, class, projects, class, editing, class, work, class, shooting video. That didn’t include my hour and a half commute to and from school. I am not complaining though. I did what I had to do to get through school and I loved every moment of it. I was born a working girl. My life was never on a silver platter and I am grateful for that.

Back to my lovely boyfriend. All relationships require adjustment in the beginning. Adjusting to him is no difference. He is here one month and he is in Japan the next month. The Japanese are known for there amazing work ethic and very long working hours. Especially as a Japanese CEO, he must always participate in the Japanese ritual of going out with his employees after work. Which I think is necessary to keep good camaraderie with his employees.

So what have I really sacrificed that didn’t take a little bit of attitude and mind adjustment? My boyfriend work really long hours here in the states. I only get to see him at night and he works on the weekends. I see him about twice a week right now until the decision we make to move in with each other. I thought the lack of time I have with him when he is here. I thought what would I do if I decided not to be with him. The thought hurt me too much. I can be alone. However, that means I won’t have him. Our limited time is enough for me. It helps us focus on us and the things that matter.

He is gone for 3 weeks every other month. While he is gone his hours are even longer. He works till almost 1 am. It is difficult to Skype with him and email communication has been very limited anyway. He is a busy man and I have accepted that I will rarely hear from him. We don’t communicate much either except through an email once a day and when I decide to text him while he is in the states. In beginning of a relationship, I realize you feel like you must speak to this person every hour of everyday. We have two things that change this. One is the language barrier, he must really think about to write in an email and my Japanese is still shit. Two is time.

I don’t have anyone who I talk to everyday. I don’t text and I rarely call even my closest friends and family. He is no exception. I realized too that I don’t need to talk to him everyday to understand that we are together. If I felt I needed to talk to him all the time to keep tabs then there is something off. Also, talking to him all the time won’t stop him from leaving if he wanted to. Anything I do won’t stop a man from leaving so I will not stress about it.

I trust him. Of course, the thought that “what if he had another wife or girlfriend in Japan” came across my mind. However, he is friends with my friends. He is not some stranger out of nowhere. Also, I am very very observant and I am good with people… there would be signs and I have not witnessed any at all. So I continued through my process of learning to love a CEO.

So let’s recap: Less is more. We have less time but very meaningful moments. We don’t communicate as much, but I learned the value of trust and understanding of my heart and the love it feels, because only I can control my love. I can’t control his. We have a long distance relationship every other month, but absence makes the heart grow fonder and I don’t take for granted what we do have.

I miss him with all my heart and he never hesitates to make me feel loved. All the moments in between I keep busy with my work, yoga, reading, and Japanese learning. I have learned to trust a man, trust my heart, follow my instincts, and use non-verbal signs in my relationship with him. He is very supportive of me and I am very supportive of him.

The only thing I feel I sacrifice is time. When you love a CEO you are not first. You are second and his work is first. He is what keeps his company afloat and his company is a damn good one with integrity and pride. I respect that and honor it. I am OK with not being first. Before I met him, I wanted a man who was big into work. I did not want to be his world. I wanted a partner and a best friend. Those things stand the test of time.

I am his partner. I work to elevate him as he does with me. We are best friends so we remember to always laugh and have fun… and underneath it all we have love and respect. My friends look on at envy because he is a CEO. He understands that I want nothing but his love. If I want clothes, I can buy them. Anything I want I can attain myself. When I started my search for loving myself, I gave up my want for material things. Material things mean nothing; they don’t love me, they can’t hold me, and they don’t last.

I explain to my friends that if you want things, sure you can look at dating a CEO as glamorous, but it will never be fulfilling. You will fill your life with things, but you won’t work for what is important. I work damn hard for him. I battle my mind consistently. I focus on us and keeping us strong. I work on me and keep myself happy. I remember that its the little things that matter. I remind myself that more is not always better. I fell in love with him for the simple things. I must never forget what matters.

He can’t always be there, doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be there. He is alone too… He misses you too… He is the one that always has to go… He is the one who misses out on life… All reminders to not just think about myself… but to think of him as well.

He does his work too. I am not alone in this. He is very patient with me and understands my struggle with loving. When I need him he is there. He is sweet and he is kind. He is still here working with me and elevating me to new heights. If I ask of him, he does it. If I need a friend, he is my friend.

So in loving a CEO, or a great man… women have done it for years… the secret I think… just like any successful long term relationship is work… work at it… and Less is More…